1. Drugs
Would you like to lose a few pounds..... and your children? If so then barbiturates are for you.
2. Killing
Overpopulation is a serious problem. Take it into your own hands and give murder a shot. It may just help.
3. Cheating
There are far too many lonely wonderful people out there who just want to be loved. When you think about it that way does adultery really sound that bad?
4.STD's
You've been dodging that routine doctors appointment for way too long. That mysterious itch is exactly what's going to get you in there.
5. Putting the Empty Cereal Box Back
I'm sure everyone would like to know what cereal we DID have.
6. Laziness
Save your energy for when there is actually something important to do.
7. Envy
I'm actually having a little trouble focusing right now. I'm so envious of the kid with the gameboy next to me I can hardly see straight. I feel dizzy... But uh, dizziness is fun. I mean, why do you think little kids spin around in circles until they drop. Envy: try it.
8. A Faulty Fire Alarm
Who cares if it's three in the morning. There's probably a fire somewhere.
9. Pride
A 97% is definitely better than an 89% on that English test. Of course he should take your tray up! What's wrong with having a little pride in your work?
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