If you have an ad that you think is good. It isn't

1. Schick Quattro
If you buy our product we will give you five hundred dollars! Oh wait. I mean a trip to the beach and a huge ass floppy hat. Thats what women want!

This is how the conversation went in the board room.

Johnson - How about we have specially marked packages that could entitle the owner to five hundred dollars.

Smith -  That could work. How should we advertise this. A big picture of money? A full wallet? What?

Johnson - No, what if we throw them for a loop and have a picture of a woman on a beach.

Smith - That might work.

Johnson - No I'm not done. Then, just for the hell of it, we have to include a big floppy hat!

Smith - You lost me.

2. PlaySkool Tape Recorder
The Playskool Tape Recorder will have your young son fighting to sing. Or he'll be constipated. I honestly can't tell.

1.Why the boxing gloves?
2.Why does he have bandages on? In the advertisment it tells us that the recorder is "unbreakable." Once I put the two together I just assumed the product designers tested its durability by beating this child up with the actual toy. Thats normal right?

2. The Betty Crocker Easy-Bake Oven
Used around the world by little children... Hitler Youth children that is.

In the paragraphs below the picture it describes the product, and in the description it says the oven bakes with two ordinary light bulbs. I have a story to describe the cooking powers of light bulbs. When I was about eight years old I got those sticky stars that you could put on your ceiling at night and they would glow. In the directions it told me to place the star in direct light for one day so it could glow. Me being the a.d.d. genius I was I said "F*ck that! Im putting this b*tch ON the lightbulb!" So I did. Soon after I forgot it was there. The star actually melted onto the bulb itself. But here's the catch. It took THREE weeks to melt completely. Three weeks sitting on the bulb being turned on most of the day. So to Mrs. Betty Crocker, unless you want me eating slightly warmed cupcake batter, waiting months for it to bake, or to not buy your product at all? Get some Mutha nuckin fire power up in there!