Inspired?

This post is sweet and simple and could cut to the core of any man. I'll be showing you pictures that appeared online after I searched "inspirational picture," then I will make some smart comment and you will laugh and tell your friends. Ok?

1.

"The poster's right guys, let's find a nice B&B and hunt Frodo in the morning."

Look at dem similarities!

2.

So everyone else knows NOT where to go, just in case the huge desert didn't tip them off already.

3.

Read more, be confused more.

4.

Ahh yes, oak, as in a f*cking ocean. Nice going dummy.

5.

This one helped me realize that I don't want Tom from myspace making my inspirational quotes. y@ d1g?!?!?!

Convincing Arguments for 9 of the Worst Things in the World

1. Drugs
Would you like to lose a few pounds..... and your children? If so then barbiturates are for you.

2. Killing
Overpopulation is a serious problem. Take it into your own hands and give murder a shot. It may just help.

3. Cheating
There are far too many lonely wonderful people out there who just want to be loved. When you think about it that way does adultery really sound that bad?

4.STD's
You've been dodging that routine doctors appointment for way too long. That mysterious itch is exactly what's going to get you in there.

5. Putting the Empty Cereal Box Back
I'm sure everyone would like to know what cereal we DID have.

6. Laziness
Save your energy for when there is actually something important to do.

7. Envy
I'm actually having a little trouble focusing right now. I'm so envious of the kid with the gameboy next to me I can hardly see straight. I feel dizzy... But uh, dizziness is fun. I mean, why do you think little kids spin around in circles until they drop. Envy: try it.

8. A Faulty Fire Alarm
Who cares if it's three in the morning. There's probably a fire somewhere.

9. Pride
A 97% is definitely better than an 89% on that English test. Of course he should take your tray up! What's wrong with having a little pride in your work?

But the cover says different.

The cover to a DVD is extremely important. It gives the viewer a glance into what the whole movie will be about. Well thankfully some movies have done this terribly, but as LeVar Burton would say, "Don't take my word for it." Let's have a look.

1. 8 Mile

Guess - Eminem stars in a cheaper remake of Memento?

Reality - Pill poppin Eminem schools a bunch of black folks.

2. The Da Vinci Code

Guess - Tom Hanks and his awful haircut refuse to meet you eyeline? (The proof is there)

SEE!?

Reality - Tom Hanks uncovers ancient mysteries... With his awful haircut.

3. Legally Blonde 2

Guess - No dogs are allowed in the Capitol. But she's ok with that?

Reality - I have no idea. I didn't watch it. Did you?

4. Knocked Up

Guess - Awkward Jewish guys?

Reality - Hey I was right!

5. The Matrix Reloaded

Guess - Finally leather trench coats become fashionable on Wall Street?

Reality - Much cooler than you could ever imagine.

I told you.

6. Runaway Bride

Guess - Julia Roberts decides to run a 5k. Also she brought her grandfather to watch?

Reality - OH MY GOD THATS GROSS!

Have your eyes puked yet?

Dumb name? Wait until you hear the story behind it.

Loads of new people are named after someone in particular. Usually someone the parents respect or like. But some kids have some god awful names.

1. Chase
"We weren't sure what to name him at first but decided on Chase around his third birthday. Boy that kid LOVED tag. But next Christmas he got a playstation. It's not legal yet, but we're calling him Sit."

2. Joe? Errr Tim....?
"We're not really sure what his name is. We're working on making a real one."

3. Bob
"I had him while I was bobbing for apples. I'm very sentimental."

4. Hercules
"If you would like to see a real model child our son Hercules is just the best. He is fantastic at absolutely everything. He is even great at being an only child. Oh wait, I guess he would be... The other one kind of ruined it."

He must have just forgot the speech bubbles.

What if Mr. Henny Penny had been in charge of creating speech bubbles for some of the worlds most praised paintings?

1. The Last Supper by Leonardo DaVinci

"Wait J.C. you didn't pee in the wine again did you?"

2. Nighthawks by Edward Hopper

"Listen Buddy I don't want any trouble, but the bar is closed!"

3. The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo

"I totally just rubbed my socks on the carpet for like an hour so maybe this isn't a good idea."

4. Drawing Hands by M.C. Escher

"Do you want your portrait done or not? Then sit still!"

Lunch notes for unwanted, unappreciated adopted children.

1.
Grocery list:
1. Milk
2. Eggs
3. Bread
4. Chicken Breast
5. Cereal

"Sorry Zach I guess I put the wrong note in your lunch. I coooould change it but I'm like really busy with mom stuff right now so maybe later."

2.
"Tell Timmy I said 'have a great lunch.' That boy is fantastic. I bet he never argues, or asks to stay up late or goes into his parents room in the middle of the night and says he is scared because there might be monsters under his bed! Seriously?! Monsters?! How dumb are you?"

3.
"I hope you enjoy school today...Bobby...?
That's your name right?"

4.
"So listen Derek, I forgot you had a severe peanut allergy so just don't eat the PB&J, or the the peanut butter granola bar, and don't dip your celery in the peanut butter. You can read all that right? I mean you are in pre-school."

5.
"Approximately 17% (or 12.5 million) of children and adolescents aged 2-19 are obese, and since 1980, obesity prevalence among children and adolescents has almost tripled. That's why you don't have a lunch!"

If you have an ad that you think is good. It isn't

1. Schick Quattro
If you buy our product we will give you five hundred dollars! Oh wait. I mean a trip to the beach and a huge ass floppy hat. Thats what women want!

This is how the conversation went in the board room.

Johnson - How about we have specially marked packages that could entitle the owner to five hundred dollars.

Smith -  That could work. How should we advertise this. A big picture of money? A full wallet? What?

Johnson - No, what if we throw them for a loop and have a picture of a woman on a beach.

Smith - That might work.

Johnson - No I'm not done. Then, just for the hell of it, we have to include a big floppy hat!

Smith - You lost me.

2. PlaySkool Tape Recorder
The Playskool Tape Recorder will have your young son fighting to sing. Or he'll be constipated. I honestly can't tell.

1.Why the boxing gloves?
2.Why does he have bandages on? In the advertisment it tells us that the recorder is "unbreakable." Once I put the two together I just assumed the product designers tested its durability by beating this child up with the actual toy. Thats normal right?

2. The Betty Crocker Easy-Bake Oven
Used around the world by little children... Hitler Youth children that is.

In the paragraphs below the picture it describes the product, and in the description it says the oven bakes with two ordinary light bulbs. I have a story to describe the cooking powers of light bulbs. When I was about eight years old I got those sticky stars that you could put on your ceiling at night and they would glow. In the directions it told me to place the star in direct light for one day so it could glow. Me being the a.d.d. genius I was I said "F*ck that! Im putting this b*tch ON the lightbulb!" So I did. Soon after I forgot it was there. The star actually melted onto the bulb itself. But here's the catch. It took THREE weeks to melt completely. Three weeks sitting on the bulb being turned on most of the day. So to Mrs. Betty Crocker, unless you want me eating slightly warmed cupcake batter, waiting months for it to bake, or to not buy your product at all? Get some Mutha nuckin fire power up in there!