I hate those stupid "my child is an honors student" stickers. But I'm taking it to a whole new level by hating the honors student and their parents themselves. But saying it isn't enough for me. No. I will hunt down and murder everyone who bears a "my child is an honors student" sticker. Yes, you heard me correctly. Murder, and I'll tell you why. Because nobody really cares that your 12 year old son Derek is an honors student at some mediocre suburban school. That is not an accomplishment. And what kind of parent would put the sticker on their car. If the sticker said "my son is an honors student, and I can punch a hole through your soul" I would understand completely, but they don't. In fact they might as well say "my child is an honors student, and I haven't really done much lately except get higher cholesterol and watch late night re-runs." So now I'll get to the part where I kill them all. I think I should do this by cutting their heads off with my kick-ass ninja sword ,that you can clearly see exists in my profile picture. Then after that I don't really know what I'll do. Perhaps polish my various trophies and medals. (Clearly I'm a winner)
The end.
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